Japanese Beautiful Model - My 13 year old daughter is out of control ?

My 13 year old daughter is out of control ?

She has only been living with me for a year since her mother kicked her out, I always thought it was her mother, but now everything makes sense. She seemed so Innocent at first. -She lies to me and says she is going round a friends house, when shes out seeing boys. -She dates guys who are 15-19 years old ! -I have seen dirty text messages on her phone. -She has moved secondary schools 4 times once for aggressive behaviour. -I have found condoms in her room and her mother told me she is sexually active. -Her mother is letting her have a boob job for her 16th birthday present ! -She wants to be a glamour model when shes older. -When I confiscated her phone, she had dirty pictures on her phone. -She goes out with her friends and drink, she came back smelling of weed once. I give up being a parent really, she never listens to me. If i try to confiscate her phone she runs away from home. If I lay down a rule she threatens to move to her aunties 6 hours away. If I don't get her some thing she wants to wont talk to me for days and days, she will refuse to eat. Threaten me with eating disorders. She will eat and eat till shes sick. I feel sick in the gut when im out with her, she gets bad attention from men as old as 40 ! She knows it, and she knows she pretty she will use it as a advantage to get what she wants. I know alot about her that she doesn't know about, and I feel i have no control over her what so ever. Theres nothing I can do. I have told her people will take her away if she carrys on, she blames it all on me. She will sit in her room for 3 hours putting on makeup before we go out any were. If I dont buy her hair extentions or makeup her mum will ! I feel as if i failed at being a parent, my daughters a sl*t. If I send her to boot camp, she will move to her aunties. And its more then likly she wont want to see me again.

Public Comments

Take her to a counselor. Now.
quit being such a )()*)(* and punish her its not that hard...... dicipline is the answer shes 13yrs old
when i get out of line my moms beats me wit da iron!
I would send her to boot camp.
2 words - boarding school. there is pretty much no way to get her back on track unless something screws up majorly. she was probably allowed to do whatever she wanted before and is now rebelling at the fact that you were not there and now she has to live with you. you either have to deal with it until she either, grows up or something bad happens, or send her away to a place where less bad stuff can happen
Looks like you have a slutchild. So if shes not your daughter then why are you taking care of her? Let her dad handle it (if hes there). Let her learn her lesson, its not your problem now.
U see, if she actually had a religion she wouldn't act like this, that's why God created Islam, to stop this behavior.
Hey there. I'm Jordan. I started a group at my school called girl talk. It's for girls just like your daughter. If you would like me to talk to her I will. Just email me and we'll exchange numbers. I was doing alot of those things and it took someone telling me what I was doing to realize it and stop. So, just email me. jordanjawbreaker@ymail.com
Take her phone away and when she runs away report it to the police, when they pick her up let her stay in jail.
dont worry she is looking pretty
How IS Emma? Guess what? She is JUST LIKE her mother was (and you were) at that age, just with different technologies...that's how genetics works... Ask yourself how your ex-wife got to be that way...my best guess is that HER father had exactly your attitude. It is really far too late for you to "fix" this now (and she WILL be alright, you were, and so was your ex-wife), but ultimately there are only two people who are (equally) responsible for who your daughter has become, and that's her parents!
she should lose all her privileges. she can gain them back as she gains your trust. if she runs away, report her to the cops and have her arrested. make her life as miserable as you possibly can. she needs to know who is in charge. it's quite sad no one has loved her enough to help her thus far. don't ever back down and set up many, many boundaries. stay consistent, everything she does should have a consequence, and until she stops acting like a child, don't stop treating as if she is three. it's a pity teens are allowed to get this far in the first place.
Wow. I am very sorry to hear that. It must be rough. My advice is to send your daughter to boarding school, where she will learn to be independent. Or You will have to be stricter than ever. Never give up or the child will win. I'm not saying you should abuse her but a couple strokes on the hand should do the trick. It WILL take time so you have to be patient. If all else fails, try seeing a counselor that could maybe talk to you both. You have to keep VERY close eye on her. Talk to her about her behavior. Try and see eye-to-eye. Don't let her have too much freedom. Good luck :D
send her to military school.
I wish there was good news out there for you. I'm sorry but this is the hardest thing parents are struggling with and other friends and family members just don't understand. They think you need to discipline them more, be physical, kick them out. We remember when we were young we had that attitude that we knew everything and its the same today except for the fact that the world is more experienced and more aggressive. I will be completely honest what your daughter needs is the Lord. As a parent, knowing that you did all you could and continue to do so by showing her love and discipline, we just need to keep praying for our children that the Lord will bring them out of this. It is hard. My son is now 15 and out in the streets. 15! He is having sex, using drugs, and drinking alcohol. Been kicked out of every school and been arrested and still hasn't learned. I wouldn't want this for any CHILD, but the world is becoming more tolerant of the evil it offers and our children are suffering. On a second note tell her what you want for her and what she wants for herself. See if she has goals and then help her achieve them. If she wants to be a model tell her she needs to take care of her body things she is doing are hurting her and her image. She will obviously say you dont know nothing and why are you accusing her but try to be as calm as possible and tell her again you are only concerned because you love her and want to help her and you wont stop until you do. And truly do all you can to help her be a model send her to modeling classes. Take her to photography classes something to keep her busy and goal oriented. Hope I eased your mind by letting you know others are struggling with this same problem. We just need to keep praying for the world and this generation especially.
Don't scream or shout at her but... Remove all distractions in the house: TV, cell phone, Internet, etc,. Trash any promiscuous attire. Have her to read the old & new testament & than have her to wright a 5 paragraph essay on it to explain why her actions are wrong. Take her to church. If their is no change in her behavoir than she must leave your house.
What a mess. You have to realise that parenting is not easy. If you are the father then you need to lay down the rules. Start by asking her if she wants to remain with you and if she does then she has to play by your rules not hers and that will mean saying no sometimes. you do need to get some help. Ask connexions( address in the telephone book) about agencies that can offer parenting programmes and mediation between both her mother and you. You have made the biggest step by taking her in. Get parenting right and you can have one of the best gifts ever your child's love.
Take away everything of hers - I know it's tough but trust me, I'm 15 (and a girl) and I would never behave like that towards my parents. Tell her that when she starts to behave and respect you she can have her stuff back one thing at a time - if she misbehaves again, take something away again. But make sure you speak to her mother because from what you've said it seems like her mother is actually feeding this bad behaviour, she needs to be on the same page as you and stop giving her things that you won't allow her to have when she breaks your rules - otherwise your daughter will think that she can behave bad with you and then get rewarded by her mum (in her head -> bad behaviour = makeup/money/clothes/cd's etc). If she still doesn't stop then you can threaten her with the police: If you're in the uk age of consent is 16 and someone under 16 having sex (whether it be with someone over or under 16) can get punished for it - even if it's a night in the cells to scare her [sounds harsh I know but maybe she needs a bit of a wake up call - sorry : ( ] see: http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/A/adultat14/consent/aoc_debate.shtml And in the USA varies from 12 to 18, but underage can still get punishment. See the following website for exact age of consent depending on country: http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm As for her going to her aunt's house, maybe you should get in contact with her aunt and explain the situation - then she knows exactly what her niece is up to, mind you, if she lives 6 hours away she won't be able to meet those boys? Or alternatively confiscate her stuff (as I said previously), then if she wants to go round a friend's house, take her there yourself - then she can't see those boys. and give her a curfew. Hope this helps! :D
Well this is her mom being to soft on her, and you trying to be to firm and it's a losing battle. You already lost it. And may very well be too late. Problem is her mother reinforces the make up the looks the boy girl relationship. Trying be the girls best friend than a parent. So she feels she can and does get away .with everything. Then you come in and try to stop it at 13! and show her you not going to take it. And just like that you suppose to be home free. Right best of luck. You have her now. And now it up to you to give the rules of the land and bite down hard and stick to them. Personally I tell her she wants to be treated like a baby... so be it ! and put her over my knee and show her what pain is. She's having sex And if you read on here many young girls are. And knowing there is no such thing as 100 percent safe birth control. I see about going around to nursery's, and set her up with a job there tell them you want to teach her what raising a baby be like. If she doesn't go tell her you take her to court for being an out of control kid. You can do this you know. I forget what it is called but you can. judge will probably give her a bunch of conditions and if disobeyed put her in juvi. It time to give her the hard knocks that her behaver will not be stood for.. Make up... I throw it all away !. money 5.00 a day if she is lucky. And tell her if she don't straighten up you will do room checks. She will go crying to mom trust me. But mom not there. So mom don't like it mom take her back. but in your house you the boss start acting like it dave. Thats the general idea is though.
Please consider Family Therapy.
Well, I'm sorry to tell you that at the age of 13, and hearing the behavior she has, she is not easily going to change. Besides, you aren't the bad parent, if what I get is correct, your merely taking care of her. It's her mother that has done the raising part, and her mom IS the problem What kind of good mother would allow her daughter to get breast implants at the age of 16 ?! Her mom is handing that girl everything she wants, not needs. The only thing I could say is that you should try to take a step back, see things form a clearer perspective. You can't change her by force, cause then she flees. What I would say is that first, -You set up boundaries, make sure you can live your life without being disturbed by her wreckless behavior. For instance, get her to clean up her stuff if that's a problem. Set up house rules, and times she has to be back home etc. ( yes, I know that she will probably not come home on time, but it's the idea. ) - And then just try to compliment good behavior. Inspire her to do, or not to do certain things. And whenever she breaks a rule, remind her of what she did, don't start yelling, but let her know your disappointed. This process is a very long process, you might not be able to see hardly any change for the time she lives with you. But that doesn't mean there isn't any change. I'm hoping this could be of some help. I'm wishing you the best of luck. -Jimmy
Well, you've got a sticky situation. There's definitely no quick fix - though, unless both of you are willing to work, I'm not sure how much can be fixed at all. You can't give up on being a parent. You became one for life when she was born - there's no ducking out of it. Her mother's already kicked her out - she needs someone that will be there for her, rather than hop around until she finds something that fits. It sounds as though she's insecure. No 13 should aspire to be a glamour model, or even be sexually active. It's okay to experiment with beauty treatments as girls grow out of childhood, but not to go too far. Her mother's probably had some hand in this - though you can't blame it all on her. It's hard to tell with the limited knowledge we have of your family relationship. Do you talk to her mother? Obviously she knows that something is wrong with your daughter, as she kicked her out - would she be willing to work with you to help? You're both her parents - you both have responsibilities. Fact is, you need to be firm. Confiscating her phone is fine, but you need to appreciate her privacy. It's a good idea for a parent to check up on their children - but try to do it on the quiet. If she knows that you rake through her phone, she's not going to be too happy - nor will she feel as though she has her own space. You NEED rules. You NEED discipline. She can threaten to move all she wants - she's already been thrown out one home, how many more does she want? Her aunt lives 6 hours away, for crying out loud! If she even tries it, I'd be surprised if she didn't get bored after half an hour or so and come back. If she does do it though, you need to be there for her if she does ever come back. If she runs off - you can't pull the rules and punishments away to bring her back. If she carries on the way she is, she'll likely be thrown out anywhere - and at 13, she doesn't have many places to go - so if she's to stay, she needs to know that she's there under your conditions. For a start, no more lies. You may not like that she's seeing boys, but appreciate the fact that you know where she is. (My mother used to make me give the address and phone numbers of my friends, so that if I went missing, she'd know where I was) If you can get her to agree with that, then that's progress, for a start. It's up to you what rules you make - though I'd advise that you don't make them too strict and lay them all down at once. If she follows them - reward her. If she's honest with you, thank her for it, and reward her in some way (that doesn't mean you shower her in trinkets & treats everytime she confesses something - I mean more like a hug or something) If she's sexually active, you can't really do anything more. If you know she has a boyfriend - ask to meet him. If you think she's having sex at home - buy her condoms or something. If she's going to have sex at all, make sure she's doing it safely. Perhaps even take her to the doctor to get her on the pill, or the injection, to make sure she doesn't end up pregnant. It might be awkward, but you need to make sure she's safe - plus, it'll show her that you're there for her and that you care for her safety. It's a hard place you've found yourself in. Just remember that you can't give up on being a parent - even if she does move to her aunt's, she needs to have at least one parent that still cares for her. If things continue as bad as they are, then I'd recommend that you seek specialist help. Your daughter's going through a rough time. At her age, it can be expected to be a bit rebellious - some children really push the boundaries - but your daughter has already been thrown out by her mother, and has got it into her head that what she's doing is okay. She needs reminding that she IS only 13 - what she's doing is illegal and she needs reminding that she WILL be punished (if not by you - the law will be more than happy to deal with her, especially if you think she's involved with drugs) It'll be hard - though you need to work at it. Hope all goes well.
Lay down the law - take everything off her (and I mean everything - clothes and all) lay out an oputfit foe her daily and tell her when she follows the house rules she'll earn her stuff back - if she runs away lock the door behind her
Too late. The die is cast.
I suggest that you take her to a counselor. mine ?? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqwWp8I0TAV9ogWGo50.j_Xsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100810165727AA0KpTe
This kid has been let down badly by her mother and is looking for attention and, although she doesn't realise it, someone to set boundaries who is strong enough to stick to them. The next bit of cheek or bad behaviour should be dealt with by a trip over your knee and a good hard spanking. If she threatens to run away, let her know that you will not hesitate to call the police to bring her back and not only will that involve time in a police station - where you will pick her up at your convenience but will involve another trip over your lap! I know you might think she is a bit old for this but her behaviour shows that she is not. Then remove everything from her that you do not think is suitable for her age - be strong. Yes, she will strop and might try and go back to her mums - if you have parental responsibility for her, go over and bring her straight back. Tell the mum that you are not prepared to put up with her bad behaviour any more and show that with your actions. Stop giving her money - how is she going out with friends and drinking etc if she is broke? Drive or take her to school every day and pick her up - and say that is going to continue until you can trust her. Don't get her everything she wants. So she doesn't talk to you - that's typical teenager. Relish the peace and quiet! If she sees that she is not going to get her own way, that will soon stop. Don't take any notice of the eating disorder nonsense. If she is stupid enough to eat till she is sick, give her the mop and bucket and tell her to get cleaning! Tell the mum that make up is not to be brought into your house. If the mum buys it, it stays at the mum's house. If it comes into your house, chuck it out. I would also talk to the school. Make sure she is not bunking off. Also get their support - if they know you are taking her in hand at home, they might help - ie, keeping her in an office at the end of school so she doesn't get the chance to run off, putting her on report so her behaviour can be monitored etc. Talk to her aunt and let her know that this 13 year old brat might try and turn up on her doorstep and what she has been up too. Hopefully the aunt has the common sense to let this brat know that she will not put up with her nonsense and will phone you to collect her immediately. This brat has got you twisted round her little finger. There are times when kids have to do what they are told and not what they want. About time your daughter learnt this. However hard it sounds, it would be pure abuse to let her carry on like this and throw her whole life away.
I may get a thumbs down.. but i will say this.. My little cousin was like that. We took her to church and she was like new all over again...