Japanese Beautiful Model

I am Married and HATE MY LIFE because of my wife. PART 2?

Well, I married her because she was pregnant. She is 5 months pregnant as I am typing this Nov, 25th. She is just so friggin evil and I really dont know if this is the hormones and by the way is that really true what they say about hormones? Anyways she is a Chinese national and sometimes I feel she is trying to get her green card because of this. (in which she swears up and down she is not) I am seriously pondering calling INS on her for marriage fraud. But I dont know? I have tried talking and pouring my heart out to her but she is just so cold. She thinks that I get mad about little things but I dont think its little when one person is unhappy and he lets her spouse know about it by talking. She does stuff like act like she isnt interested in what I have to say. She does stupid crap like say I am faking my love towards her (rediculous). Its awkward alot of times too when we just walk by each other. She is very childish also for instance she loves to hang her hat on the fact she used to be a model. hahaha, she is cute but she isn' t that ****** HOT. She has done things like smoke while she is pregnant which I am still trying to deal with and it pisses me off. To be fair I smoke, but I am not pregnant either, she says she only smokes 2 a day. I dont know, now I wish I would have just got a good American girl. we do have cultural differences but C'mon isn't kindness and honesty and love universal. I am Asian American and for the life of me I just cant figure her out. I told her when I married her that it is a huge financial responsibilty and I am giving her alot of power according to her what I have read and researched. She said she would never use the law against me and SURE NUFF what does she do? She throws it back in my face in a fight we had. She said she was going to **** me up. We have only been married for 3 months. Guys I really need to know from the married men if this is normal? If it is then maybe I can take it. Is this what you guys mean by join the club? As in pretty much every husband is pretty much miserable. What do you guys do to deal with this type of crap. Please share some stories with me. Yeah your right, I should have worn a condom but this is reality and whats done is done. It was one of those heat of the moment type of things. Of course women are going to see this as in my fault. I would rather have husbands answer this please.

Public Comments

1. A condom looks real good right about now, doesn't it? (...as you only married her because she was pregnant. You should have covered it up then you wouldn't be in this situation.)
2. Didn't the Mail Order Bride company have a warranty? some things make a man say.."SONOFA...."
3. Time to look deeper than these surface issues. Focus on finding out what the other needs and practice meeting those needs.
4. Are you looking for other people who are as miserable as you, or are you looking for a solution? You did not need to marry her if you did not want to just bc she was pregnant. And if you don't still want to be married to her, you don't need to stay married. It does not sound normal to me.
5. i dont know what to say its your fault and its too late
6. My best advice is for you to go to another country... eventually she will dissappear... yeah it's risky but the laws of the US don't apply in Japan, or a cool island in the caribbean like the Dominican Republic. You are stuck with what you have only because you want to be stucked. Whenever you decide to leave and run away she is screwed!
7. IM not a guy, but to me it sounds like she isn't happy with her life eather. i mean common you got her pregnant maby she never wanted to have a baby but she is and she will have to deal with a kid for the rest of her life and so are you.. the best thing to do seance your so miserable, get a divorce and be there for her still, go to the docs with her help her out buy her stuff for the baby, things like that.. maby both of u will be happy that way..
8. Well first of all YES IT COULD BE HER HORMONES but don't tell her that. I was the same way with my husband when i got pregnant. We won't be having anymore kids because of my fluctuating hormones when pregnant. I am a lot better now. But let me tell you....you life is over as you know it. Stick through it though. the first year of marriage is HELL (well maybe not all marriages) but until you two know how to argue effectively there will be some hurtful words spoken, but get it out now because when the baby comes, you two will need to take your yelling matches somewhere else. I left my husband because i was miserable and he didn't know how to help but deep down i needed him. when we got back together our marriage has blossomed......part of it is because our time together. Good luck with everything.
9. I will tell you that all you can do is to have a talk with her and be sincere, honest and do not blame her for her fault. She is surely not alone doing wrong. Have a talk and ask her to listen to you until you are done. Try to be kind and tell her that all you want is to be happy with her and see her smile just as she used to. Be sure that she understand that even if it is not easy to hear, nor to say, you are making an effort to speak of those problems and solve the issues because you love her and you are trying to see what makes her so cold with you and what makes her so distant. Admit to her that if it is your fault, you are ready to change, to fix the problems and make efforts because what matters to you is seeing her smile, is to live with her happily. Tell her that in a not so far past, you have been so close together, you have been very happy and that this is not death yet, that the feeling is still there. Tell her that sometimes, you feel pushed away, insulted and it hurts you when she gets mad or tell you that she does not believe you when you tell her that you love her. Tell her that even if it does not always appear so, you are profoundly sad about this situation. Tell her that when this happen, even if your regrets will never excuse anything, you do not respond correctly to these situations, that you did not do what was right and that you know you have hurt her too and that it is probably the worst part of it. Tell her that you would prefer your story does not end like this, because it would be a sad ending to what could have rather be a great story. What is obvious is that you will not solve the issue by pointing at her, nor will ever fleeing change anything at it. Of course, people should all react correctly and avoid doing what you both did, but rare are those who take the time to think and to consider things before acting. You are surely not wrong everywhere and it is not all your fault, but if you see a problem and know you are part of it, at least admit it. Many guys will say to you that the girl is always right; I will tell you that this is awfully wrong. But, if you do know that you may have been a bad guy, you can ask to be forgiven, apologies and offer to change things. Telling her that her behaviour hurts you and that you do not respond properly when this happens is easier to hear than telling her that it is her fault and that when she is being bad to you it makes you mad... Learn to think and speak. No, I am not married, nor do I have ever been. And if you want to know, I am really young. Yet, does this make me any lesser right? Does my words are lesser logical because of this? I'd rather ask a thinker than an experienced man, but this is your choice.
10. I'm sorry to opted to have sex with her without protection. And at 5 months, that is a bit past abortion time. I read all of your postings before answering this. Guys often think with their little heads, not their big ones, and no, this marriage is not likely to survive. You, sweetie, aparently were set up. You can certainly divorce her, but this child and she will be in your life forever. I'll confess right away, that hormones do indeed get the best of women, and as well, you and she really never had a chance to get to know each other. Pregnancies and babies, are not bonding, hon, they are divisive, as you have found out. You are obviously looking back thinking, "OMG what WAS I thinking, getting this female pregnant?" Advise: Get three sessions of counseling, to see if this marriage can be fixed. It likely will not help, but hey, you never know. Then, file if you see no future in it, and be prepared to pony up child support for the next 18 years... a truly stiff penalty for something you and she never planned for and never wanted, and don't want now, and don't want in the future. About the only couples who have this much in the way of problems are those couples who do what you two did..... opt to have a baby before you even knew each other...(and yes, you indeed opt to have a baby with her if you did not use a condom, or if she were pregnant, and did not abort early. To do nothing, is a decision, whether you like it or not. ---- the guy who jumps out of a plane and opts not to pull the cord, has made a decision... by doing absolutely nothing. That is what you two did.) Your problem, and hers? Neither of you knew the other very well, and got pregnant by default. Never ever ever a good choice, for you, for her, or for a child. Not ever. In fact, the worst of all possible worlds. You can rant and rave all you wish. If the child is yours, you are stuck in child support for two decades. Do this too many more times, and you'll never gather enough of an IRA to ever, ever retire.